Do You Wish It Was Me?
by SilverMyst87
Summary: This is my first fic so just bear with me and I hope you guys like it. I'm not exactly sure how to summarize it yet..
1. Chapter 1

0630 Knocking at the door Deeks groggily gets up to answer rubbing his eyes.

"Coming" he yells wondering who the hell could be at his door this damn early. "Callen hey uh is everything okay? Did something happen to Sam or Nell or Eric.. Or.."

"No, They're all good. I uh just wondered if you wanted to go surfing. I know it's early but thought maybe breakfast and then hitting the waves or whichever you preferred."

"I uh got to pick Fern up from the airport in a little bit and take care of things maybe another day.."

"Jay are you going to come back to bed any time soon? The bed is getting cold and we were just getting started" calls a little blonde from down the hall.

With a smirk on his face Callen can't help but ask "Does Fern know you used her car to pick up chicks last night?"

"You better keep your mouth shut she can't know anything about this Callen I mean it."

2hrs later Deeks pulls into the parking garage and parks the car and heads for the gate to wait on Kensi. He checked his watch and messages to make sure he had the right gate and time and hoped there were no delays since he had bought her coffee and donuts, although it would be sure sign he screwed up somewhere. Her plane landed as scheduled and he almost didn't recognize the girl approaching him. Her hair was down and wavy like the day he first met her, she was a wearing a tank top and matching yoga pants but there was something different about her.. A side he had never seen before.

"You look a bit chipper" he says handing her coffee that he bought her "I have donuts waiting in the car"

"What do you expect I got away from you for a week.. Of course I'd be in a good mood" she says laughing.

"One problem with that.. If you were so happy on your trip with not seeing me you would have asked Nell to come get you and you wouldn't be in such a good mood at the thought of yet another stakeout with me. So you either missed me terribly or you met some guy who just so happens to live in L.A" He says with a smirk

"Or maybe I'm just happy that my partner was thoughtful enough to get donuts and coffee and I don't have to worry about taking the time to get food before work, plus you had my car. Now let's go I have girl talk with Nell before our day starts." she answers walking away.

"So how was your trip?"

"You of all people should know I don't kiss and tell" she says turning around winking

"Okay uh just for the record that was undercover and you didn't want to get caught looking for anything so you planted that kiss on me, so it really doesn't count."

"Actually I wasn't talking about that kiss and you know it Deeks.. But I'm gonna pretend this conversation did not happen as to not ruin my first day back"

The argument went on through the trip to her house and to work. Deeks knew this was going to be a long day, he knew how she was when he made these kinds of remarks but he couldn't help it. He was upset with himself for getting caught using her car and he couldn't handle the guilt.


	2. Chapter 2

"Nell, what happened while I was gone?" Kensi asks entering ops

"What do you mean? Nothing out of the norm that I can recall, why?"

"Deeks had coffee and donuts waiting on me at the airport"

"Oh uh.. I don't know anything about that, maybe something happened between last night and today. Have you checked your car for any dents or scratches."

"No I didn't think he'd be that stupid but this is Deeks" she says laughing.

Deeks sets his bag down by his desk and takes a seat opening a file to start on the pile of paperwork that awaits him not paying any attention to the guys.

"So, uh did you leave her at the airport out of guilt?" Callen asks

"What's he got to be guilty about?" Sam questions turning to observe Deeks body language

"A cute blonde that he met last night or at some point while Kensi was gone" Callen answers watching Deeks stiffen

"No she is having girl talk with Nell and can we not bring this up here.. I screwed up and got to find a way to fix it okay. Drinks on me if you don't bring it up again" Deeks bargains them

"Drinks on you if what doesn't get brought up again?" Kensi asks sitting down at her desk

"Oh just surprise we are working on for you, right Deeks?" Callen says

"Oh well uh just so you know it's not my birthday so what is this surprise for?" she says giving Deeks a cold stare

"Yeah Deeks what is the special occasion?" Sam taunts

Deeks hesitates at first unsure of what he's going to say but opens his mouth to answer just as Eric comes down the stairs "Hey guys we got a case"

All joining in ops Nell starts briefing them "Her name is Haven Scott she was found this morning, she just returned from eight months of training in Qatar. She was last seen leaving Karma with friends and went home alone, but never made it."

"Deeks and I will take the club" Kensi says grabbing her partners arm

"Sam and I will go see what we can find at her place that would make someone want her dead." Callen says

"Kens what are you doing?"

"I am checking to see what you did to my car" Kensi says walking around her SRX

"What makes you think I did something to it?" he asks checking out her butt as she inspects every inch of the car.

"Because you had an entire cup of hot coffee and a dozen donuts waiting for me at the airport. I normally get a half drank left over cold coffee and one donut when you pick me up" she says getting in the car

"Kensi I missed you a lot. Am I not allowed to show it by a hot coffee and dozen donuts without being suspicious?" he says a bit annoyed

"Nope" she responds

Kensi stares a head focusing on the road when Deeks phone rings

"one of your girlfriends?" Kensi asks trying not to sound catty

"Nope it's Callen" he says answering the phone "Hey what's up?"

Your day just got better,, we need you to go question blondie about last night" Callen says

Deeks stiffens in his seat "Oh no no no Callen you know I can't do that.. I'll be a dead man"

"Do it Deeks you are the only one who knows where this girl is"

"What was that about?" Kensi asks skeptically

"We got to go question one of Havens friends" he says staring out his window.

"Okay. Did Callen give you an address?" she asks her phone ringing before Deeks can answer

"Your boyfriend from vacation?" he asks

"I wish, then I wouldn't have to listen to you.. But I'll settle on it being Nell" she says laughing

"Hey we're heading to question.." Kensi starts

Nell interrupts her "Kensi you need to bring Deeks back to the boatshed for questioning"

"why?" she says looking at Deeks with a confused look on her face

"One of Havens friends was seen getting into your car a couple blocks from the club" "I'm sorry Kensi" Nell says before hanging up

Kensi slams on the breaks tears stinging her eyes..

"What the hell Kens?" Deeks yells

"It all makes sense now.. The hot coffee, the donuts, bribing Sam and Callen with drinks after work.. Did you really think you could keep this from me forever Deeks?"

"Kensi I'm sorry, this wasn't how.."

"How I was supposed to find out? Deeks you used my car and then took a girl home, to your place I assume. My car now links you to a murder"

"Woah wait what?" Deeks says

"One of Havens friends, the one we were about to go question I'm assuming, was seen getting into my car last night. You were caught on camera" she says looking at him for the first time since finding out "I got to take you in"

Deeks picks up his phone and calls Callen back "Yeah, uh you and Sam got to go question Rayne, I got to be taken in since cameras got her getting into the car last night. I'll text you the address"

"Okay uh I think it would be better if we switched partners for now. Sam and I will meet you guys at the boatshed" Callen says and hangs up looking at Sam "things just got complicated do you want to question Deeks or go with Kensi to talk to Rayne?"

"Kensi, Callen is going to meet us at the boatshed and you're gonna go with one of them to question Rayne.. can you do me a favor?"

"Do not talk to me right now Deeks.. In fact don't say anything to me for the rest of this case."

Arriving at the boatshed Kensi says nothing and gets in the Charger.

"Hey Sam do me a favor and don't let Kensi hurt Rayne" Deeks asks

"I'll try but you know how the girl is" Sam says getting in the car

"I'm not gonna hurt her Sam you know that" Kensi says looking out her window

"That's what you say but the look in your eyes when got out of your car back there said otherwise. So why don't you tell me what's going on and why you're so hurt about this whole thing."

She says nothing staring out her window as the memories come back to watching Michelle and the argument and kiss. How could Deeks do this to her, how could he kiss her only to shack up with another girl while she was on vacation. Taking a deep breath she says "when we were working the Siderov case just before the torture I challenged him to say something he actually meant.. instead he acted and kissed me, and I guess I thought that I meant something to him but now I'm questioning everything."

Sam puts the car in park and turns to Kensi. "Let me guess Deeks has absolutely no clue on how you feel about him? You expect him to do all the talking and expressing how he feels. I know it's important to you because of what happened with Jack and getting left but you got to open up he's not going to wait on you forever. You can't keep getting jealous over every girl if you're not making it known how you feel."

Kensi kept to herself the rest of the case so that her emotions didn't get the best of her. Finishing up her paperwork and closing the file she tells Sam and Callen good night.

"Kensi hey you want to hang out tonight maybe get a drink or a few from the way you look you need it." Nell asks

"Not tonight I need some time to myself maybe call it an early night." She says looking back at Deeks one last time she turns and walks away. Getting into her car she locks the doors and lets the tears fall.

Deeks leaves shortly after noticing Kensi is crying and feels his heart break to pieces knowing that he has caused this.


	3. Chapter 3

Two weeks later

It's been two weeks and Kensi has requested to work with someone else every day and today Deeks had no doubt it would be any different. Walking into the bull pen the atmosphere was off, he wasn't sure if it had anything to do with decision to close this chapter of his life and go back to LAPD or if it was because he felt as if he was turning his back on Kensi.

Setting his bag down at his desk he walks to Hetty's office. "Morning Hetty you uh got a minute?"

"Of course Mr. Deeks have a seat."

"I uh.. I just wanted to let you know I am leaving NCIS and going back to LAPD. I feel that maybe this chapter of my life has come to a close."

"Are you sure this is what you want Mr. Deeks? This is a huge decision."

"Hetty I am pretty sure Sam and Callen would like for things to return normal and be partners again. This is pretty much the only choice I have since I am not an agent"

Returning to his desk he begins working on the paperwork he was to complete yesterday and figured it was the least he could on his last day of the job.

"So what was that all about?" Sam asks

"I'm leaving NCIS" he answers glancing towards Kensi "I figure you and Callen would like things to be normal again."

"Yeah it would be nice to not have twinkie wrappers thrown on me during stake outs and I swear I can't handle another day of that techno crap she listens to and don't get me started on her really bad jokes" Callen says laughing

"Come on I'm not that bad Callen and fine then I will work with Sam today" She says

"The first twinkie wrapper to land in the floor and you have to detail the car inside and out" Sam says

Deeks can't help but chuckle to himself listening to them. Remembering what it was like when he and Kensi first got partnered together and how hard it was working with someone who took everything seriously.

"What's so funny over there?" Kensi says

"Nothing. It was just.. It was nothing honestly." Deeks says

"Big mistake Deeks" Callen says

"Fine then, Kensi I was laughing because I remembered when we started working together, how you always complained about my jokes and how annoying I was. Now it seems the tables have turned. But hey that's just my observation" he says

A small smile crept across her face as the memories came to mind. She feels him staring at her and decides she needs a break and goes to the gym.

"You know you're an idiot if you let him walk away" Callen says

"What makes say that?" she says turning around

"Oh come on Kensi you have been stuck on him since the Zuna case three years ago, I don't believe for one minute that after three years you are giving up on him this quickly" he says

"Why not give up now? What if in the end he leaves like the others?" she asks

Callen lets out a sigh and looks at Kensi "Okay first off your dad and Dom did not leave you they were taken from you by evil people, Jack we will never know why he left, and all the other guys well that was you and your no second date rules. Now Deeks on the other hand will be your fault if you let him walk away now."

"What if it's too late?" she asks turning back around and hitting the punching bag

"If it was he wouldn't have shown up today." Callen says leaving the gym

Kensi hits the bag harder and harder as Callens words play back in her mind. She knew she wasn't being fair to Deeks.

"Kensi uh can we talk?" Deeks says softly

Kensi turns around slowly meeting his gaze and drops her eyes to the floor not wanting him to see her frustrations with herself. "So you're going back to LAPD?"

"It doesn't have to be this way Kens" he says taking a small step closer

Taking a couple steps closer and slowly reaching for his hand she asks "where did things get so complicated?"

A tiny smile forms and he says "My guess would be somewhere among the city walls of our guarded hearts"

Kensi started to laugh but stopped herself thinking it wouldn't be to kind to laugh at his words "Uh we should probably get back to work" she says

"Yeah uh I'm actually done with mine. I was just coming to say bye.. er see you around" he says

"Right, of course you were" she says still holding his one hand and reluctantly letting it go.

Deeks is half way through the gym when Kensi softly say "Stay.. Please"

"What?"

"Okay first that is my line. Second you and I both know we can't survive without each other, our constant worry about the other being safe will eat at us every day. I know that even though I ask for a different partner each day that when we all go into a raid that you have my back."

"What are you trying to say Fern?"

"Movie, beers, tacos, and rocky road my couch or yours which ever you prefer 7pm?" she says

"Skip the movie and watch the sunset instead?" he asks

"Date. Er I mean sounds good" she says cursing herself for saying date even though they both knew that it was.


End file.
